Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
5. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
8. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
9. School lunches stick to the wall.
10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
12. The best place to be when you are sad is in your Grandpa's lap.
Great Truths About Life That Adults Have Learned:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant
place to be... and let the air out of their car tires.
3. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is
due.
4. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
5. Laughing helps.... it's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy. 7. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
8. If you can remain calm when all others panic... you simply don't
have all the facts.
9. You know you are getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and
you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.